Get the following things laid out before you start:

• Turkey fryer (26 or 30 quart pot, depending on how big your bird is)
• A full tank of propane
• Enough peanut oil to almost fill the pot
• Marinade and injector
• Seasoned salt or other rub for the outside of the turkey
• A fire extinguisher near where you will be frying
• A length of 2×4, or a sturdy broomstick

The first step to prepping the turkey is to get it. You can spend the extra money on a Butterball if you like, but we have pretty good luck with a decent grade A turkey. Whatever you get, make sure that it will fit in the fryer pot that you have, with room to spare at the top. For these notes, I’m going to inject the turkey. You could also brine it, if you choose, though I’ve never done that.

Four hours, or so, before you want to eat, unwrap the turkey and remove the “surprise package”. The giblets, neck, etc. Remove the popup timer, if it has one. Trim any excess skin around the neck. If you don’t do this, it will flap and splatter oil, or sear shut. Don’t worry about washing the turkey just yet.

Take the fryer pot and put the turkey in it, on the rack provided. Fill the pot with clean tap water, until the entire turkey is submerged. If the very tips of the legs are still sticking out (the bone), that’s OK. Take the turkey out and let it drain. Use a tape measure to measure the distance between the top of the pot and the water level. Add 1.5″, and remember the number (so your number should now put the tape measure end below the surface of the water).

Take the turkey off the rack and pat it dry. You should have something flavorful to inject the turkey with. We use Cajun Injectors, usually half the turkey with Creole Butter, and the other half with Roasted Garlic. Follow the instructions on the jar to inject the marinade into the breast and legs. Try to poke as few holes in the turkey as possible, but spread it around. Put the turkey somewhere cold (on a tray in the fridge, for example). This will give the marinade a little time to soak in. You could start earlier if you want, but I usually don’t bother.

Empty and thoroughly dry out the fryer pot. About 2 hours or so (depending on the size of your turkey) before you want to eat, Set up your fryer outside, not inside, not in a garage, and not near anything flammable. I can’t stress this enough. It may be cold outside, but just wear a jacket. And whereever you put the fryer, plan on spilling a little oil, or having it splatter. You might want to put some damp newspaper under and around it to soak up the oil (and not create a fire hazard). Put the fryer pot on the burner, but don’t light the burner yet.

Make sure you’ve got peanut oil. Peanut oil has a very high temperature at which it will break down, and it will not adversely flavor the turkey. Trust me on this. Don’t try to use another oil or shortening. It might work, it might not, but peanut definitely works. Fill the pot with peanut oil to the mark from earlier (1.5″ below the water level after the turkey was removed from the pot). Your fryer should have come with a thermometer and a clip, so clip it to the side of the pot so the end of the thermometer is in the oil.

Now you can start the burner. Follow the directions for the particular fryer that you have. Once you have the burner lit, the flame should be almost completely blue. If it’s not, adjust the air shutter. Crank it up as high as you feel comfortable with. It’s probably going to take longer to heat the oil than it will to actually cook the turkey. With 6 gallons of peanut oil, it took me about an hour to heat the oil.

You want to get it up to 400 degrees. We’re not going to cook the turkey at 400, but the temperature will drop when you put the turkey in, so getting it up to 400 is good. I wouldn’t go higher, though. More importantly, now that the oil is on, keep an eye on it. I would suggest always having someone with the fryer. You don’t want the burner to go out, the temperature to go too high, or anything to catch fire.

Once the temperature is close to 400, get the turkey out of the fridge. Pat it as dry as possible with paper towels. The more water is on the turkey, the more the oil is going to boil and splatter when you put it in, so dry is good. Get your seasoned salt and sprinkle it over the entire surface of the turkey, inside and out. This is going to give the skin some flavor when it crisps, so be liberal, and rub it in pretty good. Put the turkey on the fryer rack, and take it out to the fryer.

For this part, it’s good to have two people, so you can both stand back from the fryer. The fryer rack should have a hook that goes with it (kinda like a coat hanger) that hooks onto the top of the rack for lowering it into the oil. Hook this onto the rack, and run the 2×4 or broomstick through it, so you can each hold one end of the 2×4 and stand back from the fryer. You might want to have gloves on as well, just in case it splatters. Hopefully, your oil is up to 400 now. Otherwise, wait until it is.

Do not just drop the turkey into the oil! That’s how accidents happen. Instead you want to lower the turkey into the oil very slowly so that it does not boil over or splatter excessively. Just take your time, and lower the turkey in evenly a couple inches at a time. But don’t go slower than you have to to keep the oil from splattering or overflowing. Once the turkey is completely in the oil, unhook the handle from the rack. The oil should have expanded a little when it heated up, and it should be covering the turkey completely (except possibly for the tips of the leg bones). If it’s not, add a little more oil so that it is.

Start your timer. You’re going to fry the turkey for 3.5 minutes per pound. So a 16 pound bird would cook for 56 minutes. Continue to watch it to make sure there are no problems. You also want to keep an eye on the temperature. Once the bird is in, the temp will drop. It might go down as much as 100 degrees. Keep the burner on high, and bring the temperature back up to 350. Once it hits 350, level it off.

When the time is up, shut the burner off first. Use the hook and the 2×4 to lift the turkey out of the oil. Hold it over the pot for a minute to let it drain, then take it inside and let it cool down for 10 or 15 minutes. Carve it like you would any other turkey, and enjoy. The wings will be a little crispy, but the breast and legs should be perfect. Leave the oil to cool.

After dinner, and after the oil is cold, you have a choice to make. If you’re going to fry another turkey soon, save the oil. It’s good for at least 2 turkeys, provided you filter it a little. Otherwise you can just toss it. Either way, put it back into the containers you got it out of. If you’re going to save it, filter it through a strainer to get all the turkey bits out of it. Clean everything else up and store it properly.

These are my notes, as updated from this Thanksgiving’s turkey. If you’ve got more notes or questions, please post them here. Always looking for more tips.

Let’s start with some quick definitions:

Sucrose is what comprises table sugar. It’s naturally occurring (sugar cane or sugar beet), but is typically refined and that is what the white sugar we use so often is. It breaks down to glucose and fructose in a weak acid environment (like the stomach).

Glucose is basically fuel for cells. It can be metabolized for energy by most of your body, including your brain.

Fructose is the other part of sucrose, and can only be metabolized by the liver. Typically, it’s considered a problem as excessive fructose consumption can lead to a host of different problems.

High Fructose Corn Syrup is a commercially produced sweetener that contains fructose and glucose. HFCS 55 is 55% fructose and 45% glucose (basically the same as table sugar), and is mostly used in soft drinks. HFCS 42 is 42% fructose and is used in most other foods. HCFS 90 is 90% fructose, and is pretty much just combined with HFCS 42 to make HFCS 55. Food manufacturers like HFCS because it’s cheaper than sucrose.

So why do food manufacturers even bother with HFCS if it’s so similar to sucrose? A small part of the allure is because it’s a liquid, which means it blends easily. But the big part is that it’s cheaper than sucrose. This is primarily due to tariffs enacted in 1977 that greatly increased the cost of imported sugar. Combine that with government subsidies that make it more lucrative for farmers to grow corn and it’s easy to see why HFCS is so popular in the US. If you look at the EU, they have production caps on HFCS and it only accounts for less than 2% of the sweetener production there.

So why do people hate HFCS so much then? Now we get into rhetoric, politics, and some bad science. Everyone’s got studies. Everyone’s got anecdotal evidence. But what’s the truth? One would normally thing that the folks at HowStuffWorks would have gotten this all right, but they seem to be just about as tilted as everyone else. I deal in facts, so let’s take a look at the major talking points and see where they break down:

There’s a direct correlation between the increased use of HFCS and obesity rates in the US. Repeat after me – correlation does not imply causation. Just because two things happened at the same time, that does not mean that one caused the other. I could just as easily show that the obesity rates map to the use of computers, video games, and the increase of “knowledge work”. If this is going to be the argument, you need a causal relationship. Many think that some of the next points provide it.

There was a study that showed that fructose caused mice to get fat. Yes. That was fructose alone, and it was not HFCS. Not the same thing.

HFCS messes with your body’s natural satiety response. There are two hormones responsible for the satiety response. One is ghrelin, which tells the brain you’re hungry. The other is leptin, which tells the brain that you’re full. Glucose triggers the response (less ghrelin, more leptin), while fructose does not. But HowStuffWorks got this one wrong. HFCS has both glucose and fructose, and there have been several studies, including one by Melanson et. al. (yes, I know that’s a CRA website. You can also find it here) that show that there is no difference in the satiety response between sucrose and HFCS. It’s been metioned that PepsiCo paid for part of that study, but it also hasn’t been disputed in the almost 3 years since it was presented.

Fructose is only metabolized by the liver, and the liver can only take so much before it starts making triglycerides. This is absolutely right. However, HFCS is no different than sucrose in this regard. Sucrose is broken down into glucose and fructose in the stomach and small intestine, and from there it’s absorbed. Fructose makes its way to the liver, and it doesn’t matter where it originally came from.

If HFCS really isn’t that bad for you when compared to sucrose, why are we so fat? The problem here is that people don’t want to hear the hard answers. People want to blame someone or something outside of themselves for all their troubles. It’s the CRA’s fault, because they’re pushing this cheap, refined sweetener on us. If we can just get rid of this, we’ll all be healthy. Won’t someone think of the children???

Honestly, I thought I was going to write the other post. I thought I was going to write about the evils of HFCS. Right up until I did my research and took a critical and unbiased (as much as possible) look at the information available. The answer is just not that simple. But I’ve got a few good ideas. I’ll tell you about them tomorrow.

My love of food is more about the social aspects than anything else.  Certainly, I love the taste of a delicately prepared dish.  But if I’m not sharing it with at least one other person, it’s hardly worth the time or effort.  My favorite memories of meals are ones that I shared with a group of friends.  Dinner with a group of like-minded geeks at a Brazillian churrascaria.  Exquisite meals at Victoria & Albert’s and Laboratorio del Galileo with another couple we love so dearly.  And that doesn’t even begin to cover holiday meals and family cookouts.  There’s a reason why, when I’m traveling on business, I can most often be found at a burger joint.  If I’m not sharing a meal, I just want something quick, cheap, and reasonably tasty.

There’s really no wondering why The Boss and I chose to open the business that we did.  Dream Dinners is all about getting the family around the table for a meal.  It’s so incredibly important to do, and so often set aside for a quick meal at the drive-through between sports practice, music lessons, grocery shopping, and collapsing on the couch in front of the TV.  There are a ton of studies that show that kids who eat dinner at the table with family communicate more easily, do better in school, have fewer behavioral problems, are less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, and are generally more healthy.  Most people don’t realize that until you tell them, and then it seems like it’s so obvious.  We have to make family dinners a top priority, and schedule around that.

Think back to your childhood.  I bet most of us will remember that dinner time was 5 PM every night.  Everyone sat down together, we ate together, and we talked together.  It seems like we take it for granted now, but it’s such a critical part of growing up.  And now we’ve got two-job families, and we feel guilty that we’re not home to cook dinner.  And when we can manage to get everyone home at the same time, it’s hard to manage more than pizza or a bucket of chicken.  It’s definitely better than nothing, but we’re “not doing our best job,” as my Punkinhead so often says.

I put it to you as a challenge.  Make the time over the next week to get the entire family together for a meal, whether breakfast, lunch, or dinner, at least 4 times.  Set at least 30 minutes aside to sit at the table together, outside of what it takes to prepare the meal.  Turn off the TV.  Talk about whatever comes up: work, school, what’s in the news.  For extra credit, involve at least one other member of your family in preparing the meal.